ODE TO A HOSE-NOSE PILOT
or
HOW FOULED UP CAN YOU GET?1

 

OUT OF THE SACK    FOUR O’CLOCK
INTO THE WARDROOM    HALF COOKED SLOP

UP THE LADDER     READY ROOM
HOPS DELAYED    WAIT ‘TILL NOON

NOW THE BRIEF    BULLSHIT LOU
AIO    OF 102

SQUAWK BOX GRUMBLES    ALCOHOLIC TOM
AIO    OF THE OLD BON HOMME

BOMBLINE CHANGES    THAT’S ABOUT IT
EXCEPT FOR RIVER RAT    AND THAT KIND OF SHIT

FLIGHT LEADER SAYS    SEVEN MINUTES AHEAD
WISH THAT GUY    WOULD DROP DEAD

E SUIT G SUIT    HELMET VEST
LONGIES BOOTS    OLD MAE WEST

ON THE FLIGHT DECK    SNOW AND RAIN
INTO THE HOSE NOSE    WITH THE AID OF A CRANE

ADMIRAL ON DECK    CAN SEE THE BOW
LAUNCH ‘EM BOYS    LAUNCH ‘EM NOW

A POP A GROAN    A SPIT A SPUTTER
LEAVE THE BOW    WITH FULL RIGHT RUDDER

FLIGHT LEADER CHIDES    BURNS YOUR EARS
YOU’VE FLOWN CORSAIRS    TEN FRIGGING YEARS

CIRCLE TARGET    ENEMY MANS GUNS
THEN YOU MAKE    TWENTY-FIVE FRIGGING RUNS

BACK TO THE SHIP    WORK ALL DONE
NOT A BAD JOB    WITH ONLY ONE GUN

A HIGH A LOW    NOT TOO SMOOTH
A FAST A SLOW    LONG IN THE GROOVE

BACK ABOARD    HALF A WRECK
ASSHOLE ACHING    CRICK IN NECK

WING SHOT OFF    TAIL IS MISSING
PANTS ARE WET    JUST FINISHED PISSING

TO THE AIO    MOAN AND SLOBBER
ABOUT THE TARGET    ALWAYS CLOBBER

OUT OF THE CLOTH    INTO THE SACK
TAXI HOP?    SHOVE IT JACK

THEN YOU SLEEP    DREAMS ARE WET
CORSAIR HOSED    BY A FRIGGING JET

1Harley Hull, LT USNR, AIO VF-874 (1951)

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