Captain Fay, a genial man
Wanted a simple forthright plan
Of a shed to house a 4-inch pump
When it wasn’t in use at a nearby sump.
He wrote a memo on April 3
Describing his needs to the last degree—
A wooden shack, some six by four,
With a wooden deck and a padlocked door.

Commander Feldman heard again
From Captain Fay on April 10,
Captain Fay, a mild-mannered man,
Said, “Speed, old boy, where’s my pumphouse plan?”
MacDonnel was called, then Greg in dismay,
And somebody, somewhere had called up Way.
And all concerned were told to jump
And design a house for a 4-inch pump.

Then life resumed its old routine
Until on April 17
Captain Fay, impatient man,
Said, “Where the hell is my pumphouse plan?”
The first to answer was Mister Keller,
“The structurals are busy designing the cellar.”
But Lewis said, “We sent it back,
“If you’re going to splinterproof the shack,

“You’ll need to have a steel-plate door
And a redesign of the second floor.”
Keller said, “I remember now,
“We sent it to Horner to find out how
“The washroom plumbing should be done
And whether two heads were better than one.”
Then Ed piped up, “We’re done with ours—
“Two heads, two basins, and two showers.”

Captain Fay, now wild-eyed,
Started to speak, but was brushed aside.
Guilbault said, “That heater and tank
“Will require a new transformer bank.”
And Robbie said that he’d start the specs
On a go-ahead from the architects.
Quoth Saunders and Watson from their far retreat,
“We moved it over a thousand feet.”

Captain Fay, furious man
Said, “Take your ---- ---- pumphouse plan,”
And as they quickly lost their smiles,
 “Take it and add it to your files.”
Then he left the room, and grabbed a phone
And told the job to design their own—
A wooden shack, some six by four
With a wooden deck and a padlocked door.

1 Author unknown: Guam @1948